by PeiQin Tian | Nov 14, 2024
Did you know that while Buddhist and Taoist wakes typically take place over three, five, or seven days, the mourning period can be observed for up to 100 days? This is a time for family members to remember and honour the memory of their departed loved ones, as well as express their filial piety. Notably, prayers are conducted on specific days after the funeral to ensure a smooth and peaceful reincarnation. On the 100ₜₕ day, some families also hold a ceremony to mark the end of mourning and commemorate their loved ones’ successful transition into a new life. Traditionally, there are things to avoid, too, during the 100-day mourning period. Continue reading to find out what they are. Avoid attending celebratory events These include weddings, baby showers, and other occasions of a celebratory nature. However, there is an exception. If a bereaved family member is planning to get married, the wedding can be held within those 100 days. Otherwise, it must be postponed till three years later. Avoid participating in entertainment As a show of respect for the deceased, Buddhists and Taoists generally refrain from taking part in any activities for the sake of fun and entertainment. In some households, family members are also discouraged from going on vacations while still in mourning. Avoid wearing bright colours, especially red Bright colours, particularly red, are associated with auspicious events in Chinese culture. Families observing the 100-day mourning period are instead advised to wear clothing with subdued tones, such as white, black, and grey. Avoid having a haircut This practice may come as a surprise to some, but it stems from the...
by PeiQin Tian | Aug 21, 2024
If you could have the chance to attend your own funeral, would you? As people become more open towards talking about death and dying, the idea of living funerals is slowly gaining ground over the years. Earlier in 2024, local digital channel Our Grandfather Story documented the living funeral of Michelle “Mike” Ng, a terminally ill patient who wanted to spend her last few moments with her loved ones. The event was nothing short of beautiful and poignant. What is a living funeral? Living funerals are memorial events where individuals are celebrated by friends and family while still alive. They are often held by someone near the end of life (like in the case of Michelle) as a meaningful farewell. However, in South Korea, people perceive living funerals as a way to help them live better—when you become conscious of death, you find new meaning to life. Some prefer to call it a life celebration or a living tribute. Ten days before her passing, Michelle hosted her own living funeral, which garnered more than four million views on YouTube. Why consider a living funeral? One of the biggest charms of a living funeral is that it allows the host to gather important family and friends in one place, providing the opportunity to say goodbye, mend relationships, and express love and appreciation for each other. Proper closure can mean a lot to those who are facing death. It helps them to move on with peace of heart. For the guests, such an event can offer a comforting space for them to process their grief and other heavy emotions. As mentioned...
by PeiQin Tian | Jul 19, 2024
Back in 1998, the National Environment Agency introduced a New Burial Policy to address the issue of land scarcity in Singapore. With the burial period for all graves limited to a maximum of 15 years, Singaporeans began to open up to the idea of cremation for practicality’s sake. Fast forward to today, cremation is widely chosen as it is also simpler compared with land burials. After cremating their loved ones, families can keep the ashes in a columbarium or at home, or scatter them on land or at sea. The first two options require the ashes to be stored in an urn. In the case of sea scattering, an urn may or may not be needed, depending on the family’s preference. Apart from an urn’s aesthetics, how can you decide which is the right one to go with? As a matter of fact, urns come in many different materials, which we will explore right now. Types of urns by material In Singapore, you’ll commonly find urns constructed from ceramic, metal, wood, marble, or glass. Each of these materials offers unique appeal and advantages. Marble urns, for instance, not only boast an elegant appearance but are also highly durable, providing a sturdy enclosure for the protection of ashes. With marble urns, you can select from a variety of colours including white, caramel, jade, midnight, and pink (pictured above). On the other hand, wooden urns evoke a warmer and natural feel, giving your loved one a comforting and serene ambience to rest in. If you ultimately decide to go with a wooden urn, it may be wise to select one that’s...
by PeiQin Tian | Jun 20, 2024
Grief is a complex emotion. It’s not the same for everyone and it can be particularly hard for children to understand, much less navigate. While death and dying are not an uncommon theme in cartoons and animated films, children who experience loss personally often find it confusing. Parents, guardians, and caregivers cannot shield the little ones from painful emotions such as grief, but there are ways to help them better cope with their feelings. Understanding children’s grief Unfortunately, children are sometimes the “forgotten grievers”. They are too young to grieve, you think. Or their grief wouldn’t be as intense as an adult’s. In reality, what you may not realise is that children may not communicate their sorrow verbally. Their moods may instead be unusually erratic. For instance, playing happily one moment and then crying out of the blue. It’s also common for children to display regressive behaviours, like bed-wetting, when the person they lost is someone close to their heart. A child may not be openly sharing about their loss, but that doesn’t mean they are not feeling it. Provide a safe and supportive environment for children to express their feelings Since many children find it difficult to communicate exactly how they feel, one of the most important things you can do is provide a safe and supportive space for your child to express themselves. You could start by encouraging your child to draw how they are feeling or by looking through photos of your departed loved one together. Reading age-appropriate books on death and parting is another great way to get a conversation going. A literary resource you...
by PeiQin Tian | May 17, 2024
Different colours communicate different messages and meanings. Often, these meanings are culture- or religion-specific. Similarly, when it comes to Buddhist funeral traditions, there are a few significant colours to note. Let’s find out what they are this instant. White A Buddhist funeral setup by Direct Funeral Services featuring a calming tone of white. The colour white carries various positive meanings in Buddhism. These include longevity, learning, knowledge, and you guessed it: purity. As such, it’s common to see white flowers being used in Buddhist farewells. Since white is also associated with death, Buddhist mourners in Singapore wear white tops as well to convey their grief and respect for their departed kin. Yellow Have you ever walked past a wake at the void deck and noticed that the tentage was yellow? That could be a Buddhist funeral, as yellow is a symbol of humility and detachment from materialism in the Buddhist faith. Additionally, the colour represents the notion of enlightenment (nirvana)—the ultimate goal in Buddhism, where one is free from the cycle of birth, death and rebirth. Pink In Buddhism, pink stands for compassion. The lotus flower, which is synonymous with Buddhism, is itself pink in colour. And because pink is such a gentle and pleasing shade, it’s not uncommon for Buddhist families to request for the addition of light pink blooms in the funeral flower arrangements for their loved ones. What colours to avoid at a Buddhist funeral Red may be an auspicious hue in Chinese culture, but it’s not necessary to avoid the colour in funerals. In fact, it can be used to celebrate a life well lived....
